Totally and completely not in love with you
by knarl
Summary: Sirius Blacks life wasn't exacly how everyone pictured it. It was much more better than that, and much more darker. [main focus: blackinnon, jily]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Sirius opened his eyes, expecting to see the top of his Gryffindor canopy bed dropping down on him; instead he was met with a backache and the wooden ceiling. His body only covered over with a thin blanket and for the first time in forever Sirius was sleeping fully clothed.

He looked over at his bed where a lump of a figure was as the events from the previous night unfolded in his mind.

Marlene had been crying, saying something about her father and then maybe something about death eaters. To be honest, He wasn't too sure what she had said, he wasn't even sure if she knew what she was saying but it was enough to gather that she was upset over her father. Later that night, after a bountiful of tears she had fallen asleep on the Gryffindor couch, Sirius couldn't leave her down there, waiting for an early eager first year to get up and find her there sleeping and he could hardly pick her up and take her to the girls dorm.

She wriggled under the blankets; Sirius could just see her eyes, almost hidden by the covers, twinging open engulfing the very first sunlight of the day.

"What the hell" She mumbled under her breath, as she saw a blurry sight in front of her, jumping back as soon as her vision came into focus and Sirius's infamous smirk appeared in front of her "Sirius! Why am I in your dorm?" she demanded rubbing her head.

"A simple thank-you would do" Sirius said glancing at Marlene's hair before chuckling "nice bed hair by the way"

"That does not answer my question, Sirius. Why am I in your dorm and in your bed?" Marlene repeated flipping the covers of her and onto Sirius's head "oh Merlin!" She suddenly cried "We didn't-"

"Do you really think I would be fully clothed and on the floor if we did" Sirius replied back rolling his eyes and shoving his duvet back onto the bed "But good you're thinking that way"

"Then why am I- oh" Marlene cried "You didn't hear everything I said, did you?"

"Heard? Yes" With that Marlene sighed sitting back down on the bed with a worried expression "understood? No"

"Good"

"What was wrong?"

"Don't get too excited Black, I may have slept in your bed but I'm not going to spill my secrets to you" She smiled playfully "Remember you still are an 'arrogant prick' in Lily's words" she leant forwards on his bed as she pulled closer towards him, her eyes dancing with mischief their lips inches away.

"And what about in your words McKinnon, what am I?" he flirted, eyeing her lips hungrily.

"Lets save that for a rainy day shall we"

He hadn't even realized how close they had gotten until her finger was between his and hers lips, blocking him "nice try Black, I say we're square now" she smirked pulling away suddenly

"Wha-"

She hopped up from his bed "thanks for whatever this was and if you tell anyone of whatever you heard last night well lets just say the now empty bed in the hospital wing will be fully occupied"

"Wouldn't dream of it" Sirius replied still confused over what just happened.

She nodded mumbling the words 'arrogant prick' before the boy's dorm door was closed and Marlene had left.

Sirius chuckled to himself, shaking it off. He looked around the room, James, Remus and Peter's beds were completely empty (bar a few chocolate frog wrappers which had been thrown aimlessly onto all of their beds) the three of them obviously haven gone to Hogsmeade and were probably already searching through the aisle of Zonko's joke shop wondering what their next prank was going to be without him.

_Bastards _Sirius thought, getting up from his bed and readying himself for a long day of teasing that they had seen Marlene McKinnon in his bed.

Maybe he could tweak the tale of what had happened really.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The first quidditch match of the year was today. As usual James had left early in a hurry as quidditch team captain he always got there at five in the morning (despite the fact the match actually started at 10, Sirius really didn't know why he left so early) and Remus who had just recovered from a full moon (to which Sirius was still tired from having not slept all night) decided not to go to the match as he was still asleep in the hospital wing. Unfortunately that left Sirius stuck for a whole day with Peter following him around, not that he didn't like Peter or anything it was just the constant questions, especially during a quidditch match of "who just scored?" "Who's got the qua-quaffle thingy now?" was extremely tiring and boring.

Sirius and Peter had made their way down early for the best seats in the stands, unfortunately by the time they got down there everybody else had they same idea. Sirius shouldn't be surprised as he squeezed his way up onto the stands near the back with a frown upon his face, today was Slytherin Vs. Gryffindor a match everybody was keen to see as it was the most competitive and brutal matches.

"Dammit, is that professor Aca- Acan"

"Proffessor Acantha? Yes looks like it" Sirius replied shortly to Peter rolling his eyes already annoyed at his friend for no real reason.

"Sorry" Peter said glumly shuffling his feet "She's just really biased, isn't she?"

"Yeah I suppose, but Jams will come up with something. She's really hot though"

"She's a teacher Sirius"

"Who cares" he chuckled rubbing his hands together as he realized just how cold it was, wishing he had brought some gloves.

The team came out from their changing rooms suddenly, Slytherin at one end with Gryffindor at the other. It was clear even from where Sirius was standing the tension from both ends as they glared evilly at one another whilst gripping onto their brooms harder than they probably should.

Sirius leaned forward noticing his little brother in the Slytherin team, he shook his head sighing. Of course his brother had made it onto the team this year and obviously their mother had brought him the newest version of the broomstick, even though Sirius had asked for one for at least 4 years before leaving home. He always had been the favourite child even before Sirius went against them.

The players rose into the air with their broomsticks and the game begun.

"Hey, Sirius" Peter began, tapping Sirius continuously on the shoulder "Look at Lily over there, she's glaring at James"

"What's new?" Sirius replied matter of factly praying to god that Peter would shut up for two seconds so that he could watch the match in peace.

"Why's Marlene's staring at you, is it something to do with what happened the other night, you never did explain that… what did happen?" Peter asked. Sirius turned to look, ignoring Peter entirely. There she was standing next to Lily and staring off at him not even trying to cover up the fact that she was.

"What" Sirius mouthed to her as she jerked her head towards the exit signally for him to follow.

He followed telling Peter he'd be back in a minute wondering what the worried face on Marlene was about.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as soon as they had left the stands and was alone on a wooden platform.

"There's something you should know about Regulus" Marlene insisted as he pulled him into a tighter corner causing Sirius to smirk at her.

"You know if you wanted to get me alone you should have just asked" He playfully smiled at her as she bit her lip resisting the urge to smile and punch him all at the same time.

"Can you stop flirting for one minute and actually listen to me, this is important. If it wasn't I wouldn't be wasting my breathe talking to you about it" Marlene snapped at him though her eyes glistened playfully as her eyes drifted down to his mouth.

_God why was he so irresistible _Marlene thought suddenly surprising herself before shaking her head and reminding herself to concentrate.

"Alright then, what about my dear old brother"

She gulped back, a voice at the back of her mind telling her to keep quite just let things happen naturally, to stop playing the hero and let things happen without her meddling in them, but of course she couldn't turn her back on this. Not this time.

"Voldemorts wants to recruit him" She quickly said before she had any more second thoughts about this.

What was Sirius even meant to do with that?

Sirius smiled lightly though the look in his eyes told her that he really wasn't finding this funny.

"Are you joking Marls, cause really that isn't funny" his cheekbones tightened as Marlene shook her head slowly.

"I am not joking" The seriousness in Marlene's voice made Sirius nervous and dizzy as his legs suddenly felt weak "he even has a mission for him. I don't know what but anything he wants can't be- well you know – good"

Sirius comprehended everything she just said the sudden urge to throw up came upon him.

"I just thought you should know, maybe you can stop it. After all me and Regulas were childhood friends, I wouldn't want to see him – you know – working for a monster and wasting his life"

Sirius still said nothing and Marlene was beginning to wish she hadn't said anything at all.

"Look, pretend I didn't say anything. I shouldn't have told you, I was being stupid, I'm probably wrong anyway" She said quickly moving away from him rubbing her head worriedly.

"How do you know anyway?" the sudden question coming to Sirius's mind.

Marlene stood transfixed for a second; this was the exact thing she wanted to avoid. Another reason she shouldn't have told him.

"That doesn't matter" She finally said after a minute of silence "What matters is you can stop it now"

"How on earth am I meant to stop that!" Sirius yelled his voice echoing around the stands.

"Shut up your moron" Marlene shouted back at him looking behind her in-case anyone had heard "I'm not suppose to know, if this gets out

"I don't know how you can stop; maybe you can talk to him. He might listen to you-"

"Bullshit, my brother hates my guts" Sirius's voice getting louder and louder as a yell of cheers could be heard from the stands above them, someone had clearly scored.

"That's not my problem, sorry, I shouldn't have told you obviously" Marlene cried back beginning to walk away her hands clenching in her fist as she cursed under her breath.

"No Malrs" Sirius called back, she stopped on the spot, her eyebrows raised waiting for his next sentence "I'm sorry, its not your fault. I'm glad you told me. I might be able to do something"

Without saying anything Marlene nodded and walked away not even looking back over her shoulder to see Sirius taking a deep breath in. What had his brother got himself into this time?


	3. Chapter 3

After – of course – a grand victory made by the Gryffindor team and a splendid catch of the snitch made by Mary McDonald, a party was being held in the common room hosted by the marauders, obviously, who else was going to host a party including fire whiskey, exploding indoor fireworks, a moving 'Slytherin stink' poster and not forgetting an actual real life smiling Lily Evans. Who would have thought?

Marlene stood over in the corner her hand clasped around a fire whiskey bottle staring down into thinking deeply wondering if she had done the right thing in telling Sirius about his brother. Had she done the right thing?

She was caught out of her thought as Mary came up to almost jumping on her as she held the snitch in her hand, the smile stretching across her face from ear to ear

"WE WON MARLENE, WE ACTUALLY WON! Did you see me catch the snitch? Did ya?" Mary yelled grabbing Marlene's fire whiskey bottle and taking a swig of it for herself definitely already a little bit drunk "WE WON, WE WON! OH YEAAH!"

She began chanting running around the room; grabbing random peoples hand and causing them to follow her, Marlene raised her eyebrows a little shaking her head before laughing with her.

Now without her fire whiskey bottle for something to stare at, she dropped her hands to her sides in frustration staring up at the clock. 11 O'clock, it was probably too early for her to leave without making it seem like she was upset, even Lily was still there and even dancing with Mary who was now throwing peanuts into her mouth whilst trying to dance (and Mary's definition of dancing was certainly all over the place)

She walked around the ouskirts of the dancing crowed trying not to be noticed and as she made it a foot away from the stairs a voice from behind her called her name.

"Not enjoying the party?"

"James!" Marlene turned around surprised "Congratulations, you played good"

"Well obviously" James announced dramatically turning his head as though he was flipping some glorious hair "Do you think Lily noticed?"

"No doubt, she was staring at you half of the match, in anger of course but what's the difference really"

James laughed leaning against the wall next to him and folding his arms "What's wrong Marls?"

Marlene thought about telling him for a moment, James would understand, it wouldn't hurt to have someone know her _dark_ secret.

"It's-" Marlene began but couldn't find the words "nothing"

"Come on, that's a complete lie, the amount of time's Sirius has said something like that and be lying" James joked though the concern in his eyes making Marlene want to tell him everything but she couldn't. James was a great friend, one of the best; she could understand how the marauder group had such a close connection.

"Honestly James, I'm just tired"

She was sure James was about to protest as his mouth was hanging open just as Sirius turned up with a balloon and an exploding firework "McKinnon" He winked before turning back to James "So I was wondering what would happen if you put one of these in this"

Marlene moved out of sight before any of the boys would notice her absence and went into her down and collapsed down onto her bed.

That night making sure the common room was empty, Sirius grabbed James's invisibility cloak and made his way through the castle down into the dungeons knowing the exact spot his brother and his pathetic excuse for friends went every night to hang out.

The corridors down under the dungeons were cold and made tingles spread through Sirius, he stopped in his tracks and peered open the door to make sure no one was inside and then waited pulling out the marauders map which told him Regulas was on his way.

Five minutes later the door opened revealing Regulas along side another boy who was tall a muscle, Sirius definitely wouldn't want to meet him down a dark alley.

"All I'm saying is the mudblood McDonald better watch it next quidditch match, I can't believe _she_ managed to catch the snitch before me" Regulas spat making Sirius wonder why he was down here again _helping_ him.

"I told you we should have jinxed her broom" the other guy murmured casually leaning against one of the cauldrons "She'd have gone flying off her broom"

The two stared in silence at one another and Sirius wasn't sure whether he should knock the other one out or just jump out at the and go 'surprise!', the latter was definitely the one he was more eager to do.

"She's pretty good looking though" the boy smirked to himself.

"Who?" Regulas questioned now producing sparks with his wand out of boredom.

"McDonald" 

"Really?"

"Yeah, but as you said… Mudblood"

Sirius rolled his eyes pulling his wand out of his pocket about to knock the boy out so he could talk to his brother in peace for a moment when something stopped him.

"Nah I don't see it. McKinnon on the other hand" Regulas smirked "I heard she's really on you know- the dark lords side- her fathers planning on recruiting"

Sirius stared for a minute into space as the two of them droned on about something. it all made sense really, the crying, the secrecy, the reason she knew about Regulas. She was in on all of it, she was on their side.

Without thinking Sirius leapt up and made his way back up to the common room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sirius burst through the common room startling a group of first years (the ones that think its its cool to stay up past 4 in the morning, wait until they get into seventh year they'll be begging for sleep) and made his way to the girls dorm stunning the stair before the slide could appear under his feet.

He almost ran up to Marlene's unmistakable bed which had yellow sunflowers stuck to the side of her bed posts, she was still awake sitting crossed legged in her bed writing a letter of some sorts.

She looked up suddenly at him with a questioning glance before realizing his wand was clasped firmly in his hands. She looked around at the rest of the girls and with a relived breath she realized they were still sleeping. Goodness knows what they'd say if they woke up to find Sirius black in their dorm.

"What are you doing here?" She mouthed to him as he took a step closer. She wondered what had gotten into him.

"Is it true?" he mumbled.

"Is what true?" she jumped up from her bed as Sirius continued to advance on her "Sirius you are scaring me, what's true?"

"That you're on Voldemorts side?"

It was a simple question yet Marlene stared at him with her mouth wide open, she gulped back "Sirius-"

"It's true isn't it?" his voice was getting louder and Marlene began to stare panicked around at her friends as Lily stirred in her sleep.

He couldn't believe this.

"Just hear me out will you?" She bit back stepping forward staring at his wand intently reading to dodge "It's not like that"

"You make me sick, your friends, you're betraying -" He had almost had shouted the last bit until Marlene had pushed him out of the room grabbing his wand in the process without him even realizing it.

"Be quite" She insisted making sure to close the door properly and placing a silencing charm on the door with Sirius's wand before turning back to him glaring "lets make one thing clear Black; I am not on Voldemorts side, I'm insulted you even think I would stoop that low"

"Give me back my wand" He made a snatch for it but Marlene pulled it out of his reach.

"Not until you listen" Her eyes were hard on him "My father as a pureblood is being forced into this, we have no choice. If he doesn't cooperate, we'll all die"

Sirius stared off at her intently urging her to continue.

"Don't look at me like that, its not like I'm going to go off and join the death eaters myself is it?" She took a deep breath to calm herself and continued on "And don't be so quick to judge me, you were once in my position, unlike me, you just managed to escape. What am I supposed to do? Drop everything and leave my family to death eaters and Voldemorts, I don't think so"

With a slight shake of the head Sirius reasoned "You could come and live with James and me, you can get out, I'm sure James wouldn't mind if you told him your situation"

"And my family Sirius?" She reminded him through gritted teeth "What are they to do?"

There was a pause of silence before Sirius gulped back "Sorry"

"Good, you better be. I thought you knew me better than that to think I would join some unworthy cause to fight against people I love" She glared at him angrily her voice raised causing Sirius to look away in guilt as his shoelaces suddenly became very interesting "did you just apologise Sirius Black?"

He was relieved to hear the light hearted tone of her voice was back.

"Maybe" He smirked "But don't get used to it"

"Oh of course not, we can't have Sirius Blacks reputation to be ruined can we now?"

"shut it McKinnon" Sirius lighting nudged her to which she started laughing at. It was only then did Sirius notice the little dimples on her cheeks, they were cute.

The smile vanished from her face and the two stared at each other in silence, Marlene refused to stare him in the eye as she couldn't believe someone had found out, how she had no idea, she knew the only way to find out was to ask him.

"Who told you?" Marlene demanded quite forcefully.

"I overhead Regulas talking to one of his friends as I was going to talk him-"

"And?" She encouraged him to continue her eyes becoming wide with interest.

"Well he just said you were on their side of the war-"

Marlene shook her "no" she cut him off abruptly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "What did he say about _him_ becoming a death eater?"

"oh…" Sirius stared at the floor again guiltily "I didn't really get round to that"

"Sirius! Why not?" Marlene shouted causing the first years in the corner to look up suddenly with angry faces; Marlene glared at them and turned around to face Sirius again wanting answers.

"Well he was talking about you and I was scared you were on their side-

"Scared?" Marlene was the one to smirk this time as she teased him.

"Shut it McKinnon"

"I'm not the one confessing anything" She shot back instantly receiving a playful glare from Sirius who shook his head laughing under his breath "So Sirius Black does have a soft spot, who would have thought?"

They had gotten so close without even realizing it, and this time Marlene was playing him or tricking him or annoying him, the two had just materialized into being centimetres away from one another. Her breath was caught as she quickly jumped away from him "Its five in the morning, I should get off to sleep. Beauty sleep and all" She lightly joked covering up whatever had just happened as she turned around on the staircase.

"Yeah... you look like you need" He responded smiling.

"You say the sweetest things to me Black"

The girl dorm closed shut leaving Sirius Black in a common room with first years looking at him weirdly.


End file.
